When I started this blog this year, I promised myself I would keep this as honest as I could. I have wanted to blog about something for a long time, and recently my Fibromyalgia and Hashimoto's has been taking up a lot of brain space. Writing about it seemed to be the best choice. I have been struggling lately with lots of flare ups, or episodes where my fibro symptoms become more pronounced. Sometimes these episodes have lasted for days.
Today, I went to see an endocrinologist for the first time. My thyroid hormones are not presenting normally for a person with hypothyroidism and so more tests were needed. I have to be honest, I was kind of wishing for a miracle pill. I feel so miserable this morning, and this is really disconcerting I am waiting on even more tests, and all I want is to be ok. If you can't tell I am having a very hard time being positive. I keep being told that the Hashimoto's Disease, the fibromyalgia and the diabetes I also have are each adding there part to how I feel. So the question is what do I do to make me feel like living?
Honestly, that is the question I need answered. Tell me how to get back to wanting to live again. I know in my head today is a bad day, and I know tomorrow may not be that bad. But right now, I don't capable. I really just hurt everywhere, and I am so alone and so abnormal it is more painful than my messed up nerve endings. And everything takes so long to figure out, to test and to get follow up. Don't the doctors get it I just want to live. All this is keeping me from living.
What do you do for days when you can't seem to muster much positive thinking?
Thanks for reading,
Kerry C.
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